The role of punishment in education: when is it misused?
What role does he play? the punishment in educationIs it convenient to punish? Recent research supports the thesis of the effectiveness of rewards and punishments, provided they are used properly, although not everything has to be rewarded and not every action deserves a punishment.
It is not easy to use punishment without correct knowledge. The truth is that poorly applied can be counterproductive, it is essential to convey the idea that to act in a certain way is convenient or harmful regardless of the reward or punishment that you will give.
Awards and punishments: how, when and where
Experts say that from the age of seven and until adolescence arrives, parents face a few quiet years .... It is the best time to plant. No wonder this period has been called the "golden age of education".
However, the child is not born educated, but with "right to education". Nobody is born ready to distinguish in each moment what should be done and what is preferable to leave aside. We do not educate for charity but for justice.
Who is not able to educate their children in something as simple and as evident as the taste for things well done, is lost. Punish and reward yes. But first you have to know how, when and where. Or: "Tell me how you punish ... and I will tell you how you educate".
A well-placed punishment
Well-placed punishment is one that does not hinder communication between parents and children, rather reinforces it, does not generate hatred but responsibility, awakens the desire to be better, to change and meets the following conditions:
1. Few: Continuous punishment loses its effectiveness.
2. Shorts: the important thing is that the son knows that his bad performance -in justice- deserves punishment.
3. Provided: the disproportion is usually the cause that later they are not fulfilled.
4. Educational: the punishment aims to modify a behavior and therefore, the best are those that favor the opposite habit. A punishment should not leave a grudge in the heart, but make him reconsider and repair.
5. Advised in advance: It is more effective than the first time to reason why it is wrong, and be warned that the next time there will be punishment. Except for a serious fault, in obvious issues such as a bad response, lack of respect for parents or a push to his brother against the wall.
When do we misuse punishments?
1. When it becomes habitual. As parents we are the ones who have the "frying pan for the handle" at these ages, we can fall into the temptation to sustain education in the strength of reward and punishment, that is, in blackmail. Whoever abuses this method and raises all his educational activity on the basis of external conditioning, is teaching his children to behave like the donkey before the carrot. And what happens if we remove the "carrot"? He will not have learned to distinguish good from evil.
2. Using verbal or physical violence. The effectiveness of education can not be based on the strength of the screams, but on the evidence of the reasons. When parents see that their children are wrong or have acted wrong, the challenge is not to beat them, but rather to convince them. And at this point it is essential to have patience, think lucidly and calmly dialogue. Therefore, the scream is inadvisable, apart from getting used to being shouted, it can be a sign of educational failure, lack of authority and I assure you that it usually causes rejection and resentment.
3. When we take them off good activities: for example, sports.
4. Putting disproportionate penalties. Sometimes, because of our lack of patience, we punish our children with endless sentences that later can not be met.
Other disproportionate punishments are those related to physical force or violence such as punished in your room with the light off, or physical punishments such as hitting (many psychologists say that sometimes a slap in time that is different from the continuous slap is advisable) . A child should never experience fear or even terror during a punishment, because in addition to being something sadistic, it causes trauma.
It is also not advisable to punish them without television because it becomes a desirable object. Television can never be subject to punishment or prize, unless, for example, you have agreed that you can see that series that you like so much, but after having studied or picked up your room. As a curious anecdote, I remember a father who, when he got angry, sent his children to watch television, and told them "Wow, to watch television, punished without monopoly or chess!"
Marina Berrio
Advice: Maite Mijancos. Family coach
It may interest you:
- Positive reinforcement in the face of child punishment
- Tips to educate without punishing
- Balance between prizes and punishments for children
- Tips to educate without punishing
