Couple: how to discuss healthily
All couples in the world argue, more or less, better or worse ... But they all do it. One thing must be clear, in any long-term relationship conflicts are inevitable. In the end, the most insignificant motive can make the spark jump and everything go out of control. But, arguing does not have to mean something negative if you know how to deal with conflict in a healthy way.
Discussing is inevitable. No matter how long it takes for a relationship to be a few months or a couple of years, sooner or later couple discussions will arise. Discussing is healthy for a couple, as long as it is done with respect, we can draw valuable conclusions and help us grow as a couple.
Keys to maintaining a healthy discussion
- Do not beat around the bush. If there is something about the person that bothers you, be specific. Saying what you think is essential to maintain a healthy communication. Trusting the other person to guess is impossible.
- Do not avoid the problem. Tell him what bothers you as soon as possible. Avoid the problem and act as if nothing ever happened, is a safe source of problems later. The more you leave the discussion aside, the stronger this will be. Although, if what has happened is highly serious, it is best to let some time pass so that the emotional charge does not interfere in the conflict.
- Prepare the discussion. If you order your ideas the conversation will end up being more fluid and we will avoid misunderstandings.
- Choose the moment. The best time to hold a discussion is when we are more relaxed and can focus fully on the topic. For feedback to work in a couple, we must create an enabling environment. We must foster a space of trust, in which honesty is the norm. It is not enough to be sincere, we must be prepared and be consistent with our partner is also, although this hurts us. Criticism should be taken as something positive, an aid to solve conflicts. We must remember that we are different people with different points of view.
- Take care of the forms. It is easy to lose the papers in an argument. You must take care of the forms, the way you say things, what you say and how you do it. Do not make exaggerated gestures and do not raise the tone of voice. If we treat our partner with affection and affection and strive to understand what we are feeling, the discussion will have a good ending.
- Do not try to win the argument. It is not a competition in which someone must win or lose. The goal of the discussion is always to make the relationship better.
- It reaches an agreement. The discussion will be of little use if an agreement or conclusion is not reached. You have to look for the positive side. Find what has failed, know how to avoid it in the future and so, if in the future it happens again, try to suppose a less serious conflict for the couple.
If the discussions fail to avoid him and the relationship is at risk, but both want to fight to make it work, you can always opt for couple therapy.
Noelia de Santiago Monteserín