Juvenile and adolescent jargon: let's talk clearly and well
The use of a proper and distinctive language of adolescents is a reality that is associated with age. It is a sign of identity, an element of self-affirmation and rebellion. And all that is not bad. No, as long as our child knows how to use the appropriate vocabulary in the right circumstance.
But where have they learned to speak that way? Is it some rare disease? Will they need any treatment or intensive therapy to pass them on?
Evidently nothing of that. Moreover, if we do a healthy exercise of inner retrospective we will be able to see and hear ourselves using very similar words or, at least, our parents saying the same phrases and expressions that we now address our children.
It's okay, as long as you do not lose your manners and your education, to talk to your friends with the words of your own jargon, but logically it's not plausible to use that way of speaking in a school environment, in the family or in front of our friends.
Therefore, making it clear that the use of juvenile jargon, in the right environment, does not pose any problem, and that in this environment any adolescent is handled like a fish in the water, it will be necessary to make sure that our son "dominates" at least at the proper age level that other formal language, which Needs to develop in the other areas of his life.
Thought and word
He said that is considered by many as one of the best English literary critics, Samuel Johnson, who "Language is the dress of thoughts". That's right, a clear language, a well-constructed discourse with a rich vocabulary will discover a well-organized mind and a person with whom one can converse.
Therefore, when listening to our children we must know how to discover among their words: reasoning, desires and aspirations. It is important how they say it, but more important is what they say.
Formal thinking develops during adolescence, so that it could even be considered a sign of the term of the same "the ability of the person to develop an adult reasoning."
But let's not forget that they are learning to think. Just as they made small towers with cubes and they were excited to throw them away, now they are going to "experiment" with their ideas. Therefore, what today can be wide according to the reasoning they have constructed, tomorrow organizes the ideas in a different way and the result is that the same is narrow. Today they are excited by a song, a color, an artist, a friend, a book, a teacher, and apparently with the same pieces tomorrow they conclude that they detest it. And when those "reasoning essays" are expressed in words, our response can NEVER be of the type "Look what you say nonsense!", "You do not clarify or yourself", "I do not want to go back on the same" .. .
His words shine through his interior. He is not challenging you, he does not say things like that to annoy us; he is trying to learn to think, to debate, to defend his ideas, in short to know how to express himself as an adult.
Putting thoughts in writing
It is a good time for us to encourage our adolescent children to put into writing the thoughts that haunt their heads. Let them make the effort to transcribe what they think, making them see that on a written idea I can go back as many times as I want and analyze it, discover my own error in the reasoning or enrich it little by little until I reach a coherent conclusion.
It is very important that we help them understand that not all thoughts and, therefore, not all discourses and opinions have the same value. That there are issues that admit opinion, but that the truth exists and is not the product of my thought. My thought must not "fabricate" the truth, it must discover it.
And at this point there is no other way but to return to what we know we can not help but remember each day, it is imperative that we dedicate enough time to each of our teenage children. Listen to them, converse with them, debate, analyze, conclude, with them never against them.
You can help us in this task by reading a book that they have recently read, or by proposing to them to read an interesting title. Thus we can have an "aseptic" topic of conversation on which to analyze, debate, draw conclusions, in short, help our child to construct reasoning and express them adequately.
Do not run out of words!
Poverty of vocabulary, lack of fluency and lack of coherence in discourse, characteristics that, in general terms, present the language of today's adolescents.
It could be that some influence had the excessive use that our children make of the New Technologies. We can even think that "the fault of everything" is "in the little that kids today read".In the novel "Fahrenheit 451", its author Ray Bradbvay puts the following words in the mouth of one of his characters: "It is not books that you need, but some of the things that once were in the books. Infinite and the same teachings could be projected through radios and televisions, but they are not.No, they are not books what you are looking for.Look for it where you can find it, in old records, in old movies and in old friends, look for it in Nature and look for it by itself There is nothing magical in books Magic is only in what books say. " The character to whom these words are addressed sought ideas to be able to think for himself. And this same thing I think we can apply with our teenagers, it's not about them reading more, but about reading good literature, interesting articles, but they can also acquire that richness of a good movie, a song, a peaceful and fun conversation between friends or with us.
Do not lose strength by the mouth!
And of course, correction in the language is important. On how many occasions have we found ourselves thinking, "If I had said otherwise!". And we certainly do not find it difficult to remember our parents or a teacher telling us: "You may be right but you lose it by the way you say it". And is that language does not only consist of the words we say. The gestures, the tone of voice, the attitude that we show, all this shapes the message that we transmit when speaking.
Let's help our children discover how it is and how they can improve their non-verbal language. Let's not forget that in non-verbal language the capacity for self-control of emotions is very important and that our children at their age are in the process of achieving it. Let's not ask for pears to elm!
Tips to survive juvenile and adolescent jargon
Juvenile and adolescent jargon is a normal and passing phenomenon. It is a tool that the kids use to reaffirm themselves and feel part of the group. It is not a problem, as long as our son only uses it in the environment and with the right people.
The language reflects our thoughts, desires and feelings. We have to pay attention to how our children say things, but much more important is what they say and, therefore, what they think and feel.
We communicate many times more with our nonverbal language than with the words we say. We can not help our children to improve their language and communication with sudden gestures, after an anger with them or if we do not listen to them every day.
Without being pedantic or lose the naturalness that should always reign in our home, during family meals can be proposed an interesting topic of debate on some news. We can also comment on ideas or profiles of the characters in a novel or a movie that we have read or seen. It is a simple way to take advantage of the moments in family to help them learn to speak clearly ... and well.
Mª Jesús Sancho. Psychologist Master's Degree in Marriage and Family from the University of Navarra
