Toxic relationships: when the couple hurts us

Love in youth is of the utmost importance, since the first couple relationships build the sentimental parameters of the people, that is, if at that age a person lives a healthy love, their subsequent relationships will be lived in the same way. However, if at that age a person experiences a love full of abuse and fights, will tend to repeat this behavior in their "love relationships" as a role that is adopted, something that is learned.

The emotional consequences that a relationship lacking in a commitment can cause constitute the germ of a great emotional instability. Without commitment, the relationship ends up being abandoned by the two members of the couple and ends up dying, "like a flower that is left to water."


Examples of toxic relationships in the couple

The big problem of toxic relationships is that they are difficult to identify by the interested party and it is difficult to see them from the outside. Paradoxically, toxic relationships are the relationships that are more difficult to leave and that are more hooked: they are cut off, they come back, and they start again. Next, we list a series of examples of toxic relationships in the couple:

1. Relationships "that complete me": leave all our happiness in the hands of the other. A relationship should not be used or used to supply personal deficiencies, this makes us then be dependent and not travel the path of personal growth.


2. Idealized relationships: perfection does not exist, if we want someone to be with their faults, with their pluses and minuses. Also, trying to "fix" people or change them does not usually work. Living a relationship for the "how it should be" and not how it is leads to frustration, suffering and sadness.

3. Relations based on lies: In relationships an omission is like a lie, relationships are based on trust, open to the other person and know each other.

4. Relations governed by blackmail: they consist of applying emotional punishment when the other person does not do exactly what we want. "If you do not do such a thing, you do not love me." They do not allow to act freely since the coercion is permanent.

5. Background relationships: relationships require time and effort, if they are not cared for, they wilt. People need that they dedicate us affection, attention and time. If everything is always more important than you, bad signal.


Raquel García Zubiaga. Psychologist Institute of Applied Neurosciences to Education (INAE)

Video: Why We Pick Difficult Partners


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