Tantrums, what do children want to tell us and how to react?

When something does not go as expected, children tend to disagree with tantrums in which shriek and kick waiting for a reaction from the adult to get what they expect. Often these irritations tend to confuse with the attitude of a bad and selfish child who wants everything for him, but nevertheless tantrums are part of the behavior of children and their appearance is the most normal in the world.

Especially as indicated by the Spanish Association of Pediatrics, AEP, arise around three years. At this age, children initiate a obstinacy stage in which his position is always contrary to that of others and rarely adapt his will to that of the whole. However, this body explains that although the tantrums suppose something normal in children, parents should work to try to remedy this attitude and do not prolong it in time.

Why do children have tantrums?

Around three years, children begin a different positioning stage than everyone else and that is why the youngest children try to keep your opinion always, even if this means reacting in a violent way and manifesting your will through non-dialoguing techniques. In short, these tantrums suppose an emotional explosion with which the smallest indicate their disagreement.

That is, tantrums are a way of attracting attention using inappropriate formulas. Precisely because of the use of these means to impose their reason, parents must react to the behavior of the smallest and make them understand that this is not the way to express their opinion. For this reason, in this age requires a commitment of the elderly to prevent tantrums from manifesting over time.

How to react to a tantrum?

The most important thing before the appearance of a tantrum is to maintain a calm and indifferent attitude by all the adults surrounding the child. The child must understand that with his anger will not get to gain the attention of people, much less make impose their will. Quite the opposite, with a tantrum what you get is indifference.

Even though he has to try understand the reasons that have caused the tantrum, you should never give in and grant the desire that the child pretends when expressing his anger. This would mean that the child's blackmail in the form of a tantrum has succeeded, so that in the next situation in which he wants to impose his opinion, he will act in the same way to achieve his goals. It is best to wait for this anger to pass and talk to the child to reach an agreement between the two.

Tips to follow during tantrums

In addition to this way of proceeding during a tantrum, from the AEP point out a series of tips to continue during these anger to try to make the child understand that this attitude is not the most recommended to achieve their goals:

1.- Give always example And do not let your guard down, no matter how bad the children are seen with these tantrums.

2.- Obedience must be taught to the children within their education.

3.- We must fix rules at home. These rules must be specific and mandatory, punishments must be established in case they are not complied with.

4.- Find mechanisms for control this emotional explosion and channel this spontaneity towards positive behaviors.

5.- Beware of the educational referents that children can find in other elements that surround them, such as the TV. It is always advisable to sit next to them so they do not face the screen alone.

Damián Montero

Video: How to Deal with Tantrums

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