The teenagers: from princesses to bad guys
Adolescence is a stage not exempt from uncertainties, changes more than evident and disconcerting behaviors for adolescents, as well as for their mothers and fathers. For the family it is a paradógica vital experience.
On the one hand, they could be closer to their daughters since they are evolving rapidly and shorten differences with adulthood, but on the other hand, the changes do not occur in a linear manner but rather in a brusque manner, causing in many cases important gaps.
If there is a vital stage that revolutionizes the human being from different spheres of influence, that is adolescence. Hormonal, mature, socially and psychologically, the adolescence changes us.
Teen girls: from princesses to bad guys
Adolescent girls, especially in recent years, have transgressed topics and disoriented, they have tried to approach the boys in a desperate display to match them. But in that competitiveness, Angel Peralbo, Psychologist Director of the Adolescent Area of the Álava Reyes Psychology Center and author of the book From girls to bad guys, "We have seen that in many cases, this has resulted in an increase in some behaviors of risk calls, such as drinking, smoking or having early sex, to name just a few." The result has created a lot of life disorientation in the family bosom. "
The interesting thing about these stages prior to adolescence for mothers and fathers is, in fact, the possibility of knowing well how their daughters are and how to strengthen them for when more than guiding what they should do is facilitate or accompany.
"The first thing I suggest and first of all," says psychologist Ángel Peralbo, "is to face the fear that they have shown many times before to the dreaded adolescence, thinking that it is a stage full of good opportunities to show the life that is worthwhile, that not all experiences are negative and that in any case it is a stage to be passed, there are no shortcuts, but that ends without a doubt. Reflect that although we sometimes think that it is not so, those who are more lost are precisely their teenagers, so it will be good to remain close to them with security and integrity, closeness and firmness ".
Adolescents: when they get older
When they get older, it's as if they changed the scenario and had to adapt or change their attire immediately. New image, new friends, discoveries, sensations that until that moment were unknown. In this sense, the psychologist Ángel Peralbo advises "above all, the fact that parents stay calm and transmit serenity will prevent them from facing even more strongly their parents, whom they will dismiss as outmoded." you do not understand me "and things like that".
Not entering into constant confrontation will facilitate being able to stay close enough to observe well feelings, which otherwise will be hidden but will have an effect on adolescents, who through extreme behaviors, often reflect what they do not know or do not want. know: how they feel, how they suffer from their social relationships, their first attraction for friends, their feelings of inferiority, etc.
And the one that with all its errors, outbursts and impossible affronts, continue to feel unconditional affection, will be the basis on which mothers and fathers can build all their new educational style for their teenagers. They are a treasure, in the rough, but a treasure.
Advice: Angel Peralbo Fernández.Psychologist Director of the Adolescent Area of the Álava Reyes Psychology Center