6 ways to connect with your children
The most important thing in parenting is the connection with the children. If you achieve a strong and sincere connection, your children will follow you and want to do the best for you and the family. They will internalize your values and priorities and will want to put them into practice. In addition, your relationship will be strong and education will be much easier because you will all be connected and in the same boat.
6 ideas to connect with your children
To seek complicity with your children, create a climate of trust, cultivate friendship without losing sight of who your parents are ... you can put these ideas into practice connect butt with your children:
1. Check your body language
It is important that there is a lot of physical contact with your children, regardless of their age. When we are babies we are in contact for many hours, but what happens when they grow up, have extra-curricular activities and spend hours with friends or in front of the computer?
Also at these ages it is important that you approach them, stroke their hair, give them a kiss when you cross the corridor, hold your hand when going to school. If your son is older and he does not want his friends to see you kissing him at the school door, suggest giving him in the previous corner or inside the car, where no one can see you.
The time to go to bed is excellent to caress them and give them a little massage while you tell them how important it is for you and how happy you are to be your daughter.
2. Are you always giving orders?
As of a certain age, we often dedicate ourselves to giving orders to our children constantly. "Pick up the shoes", "turn off the phone", "have you finished your homework?", "Hurry up, we lose the bus" are the phrases we repeat every day, and make our relationship with the children look like that of a boss and her subordinate.
Find another way to give the orders to learn to connect with your children, a more fun and not always point to your daughter. I'll give you several examples that you can adapt to your day-to-day life:
- Instead of saying "pick up your shoes", try saying: "I see one shoe out of its place, we need someone to put it in the shoe rack to the three!"
- Instead of saying "turn off the phone", try this formula: "Oh no, once again the mobile phone has kidnapped my beloved daughter, my dear mobile, or you leave my daughter alone or I will have to be the one separate from it by force. "
- Instead of saying "have you finished your homework?", Try: "I see that you have been working a long time. Do you need help to finish or is everything okay?".
- Instead of saying: "hurry up we lose the bus", say: "We are going to put our feet to do everything fast so that the bus does not escape today!".
3. What moments do you share with your children?
Look for times throughout the day that allow you to connect. They do not have to be very long or exceptional moments. The food, the walk to school or the time to get dressed can be moments in which you take advantage to be comfortable with each other.
4. Be present
Are you always with your mobile in your hand, watching TV or thinking about your things? When you are with your children, try to BE. But not only with the body: also with the mind. Leave your worries in a corner of your mind (it's difficult, but you can!), Keep the phone (I leave it in a wooden box in the kitchen, if it sounds I hear it but I do not consult it when I'm with the family) and turn off the TV. When you are with your children, you have to be present. It's okay if you are silent, sharing the silence can be great! The important thing is that you ARE, and that your children feel your presence.
5. Listen to them without judging them
Your children have a thousand things to tell you. Many times they just want that: tell you about it, without you having to tell them what they have done or said is right or wrong. No need to listen if it has been something special, good, bad, regular. They just want to tell you, share it with you. Listen to them actively, with real interest and do not judge them.
6. Laughter, laughter and more laughter
Laugh with your children as much as you can. Everyday! Make jokes, tickles and jokes. Laugh at your mistakes, say nonsense * laugh together! It will unite you a lot, you will release tension and * you will have a great time!
Amaya de Miguel. Founder of the school for parents Relax and educate- The 10 worst sentences that parents can say to their children