Enfados en niños, how to help them handle this emotion

The learning process for a child is more complex than it may seem. It's not just about internalizing skills like speaks or that he may be able to walk. There are many other aspects that mark this path, such as the ability to handle emotions and what is more important: knowing how to understand them to know oneself.

One of the most complex is the anger. This feeling not only supposes a tantrum or a tantrum, in some cases it also translates into facing frustration. That is, understand that life is not always going to show its best side. From the NYU Child Study Center a series of tips are given to help the child understand these situations and help him to handle them.


The origin of anger

The first thing to understand is the origin of the anger In the kids. Usually, this is related to a frustration for various issues ranging from a bad position in a game, to a joke that has made his brother. In both cases the child feels uncomfortable with the situation and can not change it, manifests these attitudes that arise from their attitudes to physical effects.

On the one hand, the child will show more introvert or aggressive. Some intuitive responses to the perception of these threats that alter your physical comfort zone. But, especially the most aggressive responses, to each situation is not healthy healthy because of the amount of physical and emotional problems that can be generated.


As they grow up, the anger is manifested in different ways depending on the age of the children and the degree of empathy developed. With the years They learn to manifest this feeling with words and not physically. In other cases it is also possible to see that the child locks himself in his room without wanting to speak or screaming in these situations.

Teach children

As in other teachings, parents can do their bit in these situations so that the little ones can handle these feelings. These are some tips that parents can use in their day to day for this purpose:

- Educate the children in empathy. Make the child can put himself in the other's place and always ask him how they think his friends feel in situations where the child has done badly.

- The feelings are admitted, the behaviors are not. Feeling frustrated is part of life and things do not always go well. But that does not justify all behaviors, parents should make it appear that whenever they want the little ones can talk about how they are, but never act aggressively for it.


- Learning from situations. In every situation of anger, the child can learn something. For example, if another bothers you, it is better to go to a greater than to take justice

- Teach them to take breaths for these moments of greater stress.

Overcome frustration

As was said at the beginning, anger is usually closely related to frustration. Teach children how to overcome it help to much on the way to emotional intelligence. These are some tricks:

1. Transform the way you see failures and losses. Help them to change that negative vision, it is not a matter of everything or nothing, of getting it or not getting it. It is a process of learning and personal development, failure is part of it, but all failure leads to progress and is more likely to learn from mistakes and overcome.

2. Convert frustration into learning. Ask them to question "how they have done it", "where they have failed", "what can they do to not fail again". It is about changing a negative emotional response, for an opportunity to learn.

3. Let them face certain things alone. Let them do things for themselves, without giving them all done. It is good that they think, that they try and that they have the opportunity to make mistakes, so that they can verify that nothing is happening, so that they demystify the mistake and prove that it can be solved.

4. Avoid overprotecting them. It is good that they do things for themselves, they will gain self-esteem and confidence.

5. Do not reinforce behaviors that show intolerance to frustration. It is usual for the child to respond with anger as a result of his frustration when he does not get what he wants.

6. It serves as an example. Children learn more from what they see than from what we tell them. If you observe how you face the different frustrations, if they check that you also have errors, they will understand that it is something normal and that it can be faced.

7. Reason with your child about mistakes and failures. If you understand why it went wrong, you will gain confidence for future occasions and you will know what you can do.

8. Teach him to handle the negative emotions associated with failure. Help him change his way of thinking, losing is not something negative is an opportunity to change, learn and improve.

Damián Montero

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