Social rejection: what gives us a bad spine?
You know someone and something inside you is removed, it does not fit you, there is something about that person that you do not like, you do not understand very well because, you just met her and you do not know anything about her, however, you can not stop feel that negative current that invades you and causes the social rejection in you. What happen? Why do not I like it if I still do not know anything about her? Do I have to trust in what I'm feeling?
Social rejection, what causes this negative spark?
According to studies conducted by the University of Toronto, the origin of this social rejection Towards someone we do not yet know is in the amygdala. In this gland is where the basic emotions prevail and, therefore, responsible for the emotions that lead us to make quick judgments about people. These judgments are not reasonable, but are automatic and instinctive.
This area of the brain helps us to react to the dangers instantaneously, and thereby guarantees our survival, it also helps us remember those lived experiences that put us in danger.
When we meet someone who produces us social rejection or gives us "bad spine" it's because the amygdala has been put into operation and is reminding you of something that you have already lived and that you have cataloged as dangerous. With this reaction, you intend to be safe from possible situations that may be harmful or dangerous for you.
In this way, certain characteristics of the person such as the way of speaking, some gesture, their tone of voice or their traits can make the amygdala start working creating in you those feelings of social rejection with the objective of protecting yourself.
How to react to social rejection
The next time you find yourself in front of someone who produces that "bad thorn", try not to let yourself be carried away by the danger signals that the amygdala generates, put into practice self-control and look for a more rational response to that rejection that you feel.
This can help you stop and think that is exactly what you do not like about that person, which is what is causing the alarm to go off and in this way be able to interpret the reactions in a more coherent way and be able to relate more beneficially.
Rocío Navarro Psychologist Director of Psicolari, integral psychology
