What not to do in the life of a couple
Love is an adventure, a journey, a journey ... But sometimes after the first five years and when approaching the 10 or 15 years of relationship in the couple's life It can happen -as with a motor that wears out- that this life requires "greasing" it.
Check some "worn parts" of the relationship, clean and purify the "gears2 of love, better adjust the" straps "of communication, align the" direction ", inflate the" wheels "of everyday life, embellish the" moldings " of mutual tenderness ... are some of the habits that should not be lost sight of so that the couple's relationship works.
But ... what warning devices are we afraid to turn on to indicate the engine failure? How to recognize and modify the behaviors that prevent us from welcoming the other fully? How to realize? Who will notify us? How not to take for granted that some habits are inadequate? And first of all, how to realize in time that there is a possible failure that could be serious and generate a break?
Warning signs of a couple crisis
Has anyone ever thought ?: I will be wrong as a couple !. Why has my family become more of a "company" than a family? So many and so many efforts that exhaust us and at the same time subtly disappoint us for not focusing them well: doctors, schools, trips, shopping, transport and family logistics, diverse supplies, the "management" of family relationships (political family, own family , acquaintances, etc.), suppliers and domestic repairs, social commitments, unforeseen problems to solve efficiently, telephone interruptions ... Not to mention when they come -solapados with all the above- economic hardships, labor tensions or health difficulties.
Often it can happen that we go taking some "escape routes" delicate, camouflaged under the hard work, responsibilities, the need to communicate with the environment, the novelty of the times (which "forces" us to update as social networks) , the fatigue to talk and share life, etc. But they are often only ways to escape from necessary routines, lack of tenderness or lack of deep communication.
How to strengthen the couple's relationship
This is well discovered in the book Warning Signs What not to do in the life of a couple, by Rino Ventriglia and editorial Ciudad Nueva. And it has helped me to put my own name and identify some attitudes of the "old man".
"Do not stand in front of me, I may not follow you, do not stand behind, I may not see you, stay by my side: you will be my partner".
(Indian proverb)
In this stage of the life of a couple, mutual sincerity, gratuity, responsibility and acceptance of limits are indispensable parameters to move forward and take off our attachments and miseries with really renewed strength.
Also having around good witnesses helps. Common but heroic witnesses in their daily life and humility. Not in vain the testimonies presented by Rino Ventriglia seem to say that, "in spite of the painful moments, any couple in difficulty can be reborn, and that loving each other forever is not an unrealizable dream".
You and I are one thing. I can not hurt you without hurting you.
Mahatma Gandhi
And it is that - as the author Rino Ventriglia says - "they are special moments that leave one breathless, moments in which timid tears of emotion appear to our face, while the heart beats strong and arises, both in the mind and in the heart , a new understanding, the past years make sense, the pain experienced, the doubts, the errors, the limits, the moments of darkness ... These are instants that have a taste of eternity. "
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the rest of the world calls it a butterfly"
Anonymous (attributed to Lao-Tzu and Richard Bach)
Joaquín Herrero Ayestarán
