The most frequent fears and phobias in children
During childhood, you have to face an unknown world that is too big for someone so small. Fear is common in children and also goes through different stages depending on age. When the topic that generates fear escapes their understanding, their habitual world is altered and they do not know how to react to this change, fear can cause them to feel anxious.
Each age has its own characteristic fears and fears, but they are all transient and will remit as the children mature and understand that there is no reason to be afraid of this issue. However, in many other cases this panic can increase in intensity and negatively impact the day to day of the child. It is in these cases when parents must help their children to try to calm them down and help them overcome these fears.
Most frequent fears in children
Most of the fears children feel disappear when they reach maturity to understand the problem they faced. These are the ones that the Spanish Association of Pediatrics, AEPED, calls "evolutionary fears". However, there are many others that may require parental help to overcome them, as is the case with phobias, which suppose a disproportionate reaction on the part of the child to a fear and that generate in him a feeling of anxiety. AEPED points out the following fears as the most common in small ones:
1. Fear of the dark. The time to go to sleep can be torture on many occasions for the little ones in the house. See how that colorful room and where he played hours before, now becomes a shady place and in which his senses do not perceive anything causes in the children a quite habitual fear of the dark. In fact, the AEPED points out that this fear appears in one out of every three children around the age of two and that this percentage decreases at 8-9.
This association adds that sometimes this fear is added to others such as the fear of imaginary characters or the possibility that someone may enter and harm them. The AEPED recommends establishing certain routines that calm children before going to sleep, such as talking with them in bed and tucking them in or reading a story; It also emphasizes the danger that the child may have exciting activities before sleep or drink caffeinated beverages and sugary at night.
2. Fear of separation. Losing that person to whom the child feels so attached is a thought that the little ones do not like at all. The AEPED points out that it is one of the most common fears in the human race in its first years of life, especially when the little one fears losing his mother, a person to whom he is usually more united.
AEPED recommends encouraging the child's autonomy from the beginning and avoiding overprotection of the child. Brief separations should be made at the beginning such as allowing them to play at a friend's house and with the passage of time expand these activities to let them sleep at home of this friendship or go to camps when age allows.
3. School fears The school can pose many problems for the child. And is that in this environment the child is involved in a competitive environment where usually the normal establishes that it should be the best. This is coupled with having to look for friends, which can lead to a feeling of loneliness. This fact usually remits over time, when the child adapts to school.
On the part of the parents, it is important to be firm as long as the child is made to understand that he / she must go to school. It will also be important to have a good relationship with the teaching staff when it comes to detecting possible problems such as bullyin, which can cause this fear of school in the child. Long absences from school should be avoided as this does not favor the acclimatization of the child in his new environment.
4. Fear of doctors. It is not uncommon to imagine why the child fears a stranger who sometimes covers his face and who causes physical damage to him or who sticks needles in to inject him with vaccines. This can cause small feel anxiety each time he is told that he will go to the doctor because he does not understand that it is to cure him, but rather to make him feel pain.
The AEPED recommends a calm attitude in the parents to transmit tranquility to the child. In addition it is also good that the child knows his pediatrician in a kinder context and when he does not wear a mask or other devices that may cause the child to be rejected.
General tips to overcome the fears of children
Most childhood fears disappear on their own as the child matures and copes with the feared situations. It helps to help fearful children to overcome their fears without falling into overprotection and encourage the child to solve the difficulties with help, but without always finding the problems solved. We must bear in mind that sometimes fear is perpetuated by the advantages that, without initially intending it, are obtained with them.
one. Run away from concessions. Parents usually adopt a comprehensive and tolerant attitude, providing the child with more whims or advantages and, on the other hand, can discharge obligations, duties or responsibilities. For this reason, it is important to assess whether it is convenient to make certain concessions, such as letting the parents spend the night in bed when there are nighttime fears or allowing them to stay at home without going to school.
2. Avoid the use of fear to control children's behavior. It is an inadequate educational practice. Some phrases such as "if you're not good, I call the coconut" or "if you do not drink the syrup, we'll take you to the hospital to get punctured" resolve situations momentarily, but they can cause long-term problems. Solving problems with threats will only increase certain fears in the child.
3. Pay attention to the strategies. The child with fear can use strategies to escape or avoid feared situations such as feigning belly pain to avoid going to school or crying when left alone. If this happens, indifference is preferable, be patient and pretend that you do not hear complaints or tantrums and celebrate on the contrary any positive action of the child, however insignificant, aimed at overcoming fear.
4. Conceal your fears. Imitation has a lot to do with the acquisition of childhood fears, so it is important to maintain your composure and disguise your own fears in the presence of the child. The feelings of security raised by the company of the parents counteract the fear. It is advisable to downplay the normal manifestations of fear in children and try to remain calm in times of stress
5. Select the movies or readings of your children. A mechanism of fear acquisition is the observation of frightening experiences. You have to select movies, readings, stories and shows appropriate for your age. We must avoid stories of terror or that present indiscriminate violence. It is sometimes useful to resort to play and humor in circumstances of fear.
Damián Montero
