The fear of being single: anuptaphobia
The panic to stay single or single Come back every year with Valentine's Day. This date marked on the calendar and in all the media with its rain of gifts, messages, proposals to celebrate ... can wreak havoc on people without a partner with the irruption of the feared anuptaphobia, which is the panic of not having couple or stay single. On February 14 and in the previous days, those affected may feel more pressure.
Women suffer the most from anuptaphobia
Although the anuptaphobia also affects the male sex, women are the most likely to suffer the fear of being single, especially, when the expiration of its biological clock approaches, that is to say, around the 30 to the 40 years, a decade in which many women wish to see fulfilled their desire to be a mother. At a social level, you still have the belief that men have a long biological life to ensure their paternity, while women have a marked deadline. But in addition, there are other conditions that can trigger the fear of being single:
- The fear of singleness is conditioned by values, education and the sociocultural context in which a person is immersed
- The panic to remain unmarried is sharpened in Valentine's Day, A terrible day for some people without a partner in it feel a lot of social pressure.
- Women are the most affected, above all, when they feel the desire to be a mother.
Social pressure and the fear of being single
The fear of not reaching the altar and not having a life partner is still present in society. And this fear of singleness is conditioned by the values, education and sociocultural context in which a person is immersed. This anguish to remain single weighs more on women, due to the sexist component with which the situation has been dressed since time immemorial. While men were qualified as "bachelors of gold," they "remained to dress saints," and in the past, men were "hunted," while they were branded as "Dona Rosita the unmarried woman."
Anuptafobia, the obsession of fear of singleness
The obsession caused by the fear of being single or single appears when fear is transformed and loneliness contaminates all aspects of life. This obsession, in practice, appears when at work you are always waiting to meet someone, or when weekends you only leave with the purpose of having your friends introduce you to someone new ...
Characteristics of people with fear of being single
In the couple relationship, these people with fear of singleness react like this:
1. Disappear in front of the other. The desire to have the other happy, happy ... makes them almost disappear as people. This habitual situation causes boredom and lack of interest in the person they are trying to conquer.
2. Consider the other as a trophy. Its maximum objective happens to be the other as a trophy that must be obtained at any price. For this, they try to be self-sufficient or "perfect". They hide their weaknesses and the most vulnerable aspects of their person.
3. They maintain a relationship at any price. When the couple does not respond, does not call or does it at the last minute, has no sexual exclusivity, these people seek to justify the other's behavior, avoid pressure and try to continue with the relationship at whatever cost, without setting limits.
Recommendations to end the fear of being single
People with this fear of loneliness should, according to the coach and therapist, Verónica Rodríguez Orellana:
- Work your way of bonding with others and with yourself
- See what happens to them with the fear of loss, with the desire to conform everyone.
- Take into account their self-esteem, and think of themselves as a person who does not require another to develop socially and economically. A better bond with yourself helps not to deposit your welfare in another person.
"In the coaching sessions we work very often on this subject, both the fear of singleness and the obsessive search of the couple, being able to quiet the mind and learn to manage this moment emotionally is crucial to be able to lead a more pleasant life", says the coach and therapist Verónica Rodríguez Orellana, director of the Coaching Club. "It is exciting to accompany these processes and see how the person slowly returns to conquer the life he deserves," he concludes.
Marisol Nuevo Espín
Advice: Verónica Rodríguez Orellana. Coach, Therapist and Director of the Coaching Club.
