How to avoid adolescent truancy

The percentage of students who truant or miss class systematically in Spain reaches up to 28 percent, according to data that has encrypted the OECD. Most of them tend to be high school kids, and many times, although not always, they are children of families in a vulnerable situation or living in disadvantaged environments.

Here, too, there are differences between rich and poor, as the percentage of poor absentee students reaches 37 percent, while this percentage remains at 19 percent among those who belong to families with greater purchasing power.

The solutions for avoid truancy among adolescents they do not turn out to be easy, since a son's absence from class almost by system means a deep negative attitude about school, study, etc. Regarding a sporadic lack we should never let it pass thinking that it is less important, because our son is in an unstable equilibrium: either the companies lead him to stop studying progressively, or we tackle the problem; and this one needs the simultaneous competition of parents and teachers.

That is when the time comes when a quiet and peaceful conversation with the adolescent becomes necessary. It is not a dish of taste for anyone, it is more comfortable to be silent, disguise, forget, "look the other way" ... to spend the bad drink to speak clearly. But, as psychologist Alejandra Vallejo-Nágera says, "more pain causes a soft, inconstant father, who does not serve as a guide, I refer to that guy who immediately surrenders, because educating well is tired".

Three attitudes of the parents when it makes pellets or steers

- To think that "It is not so much, poor son", for a poorly understood paternalism that leads us to believe that our task is to avoid setbacks, when it comes to educating a free and responsible person.
- Believe that "If I lecture you, I will lose your confidence", forgetting that our children need and expect our authority.
- Act as we should: inform us well about what happened and talk with our son, remembering that despite being the owners of the excuses, the important thing is to listen to him, make him think and take an attitude as a consequence of his behavior.

Topics to talk when the teenager is missing class

Some ideas that we can transmit to you to reflect are:
- Out of respect for your parents and teachers you can not behave like a "baby" making the whole world constantly aware of you.
- If there are younger siblings or cousins we will explain what to think about the example given to the little ones and their responsibility over them.
- You also have to help him internalize the sense of justice, because their obligation is to study as well as that of the parents to work and educate their children.
- And, above all, talk a lot about the question of trust that we have deposited on him, if he lacks this one he creates - to the parents - a feeling of unrest and real reasons to distrust him, in this and other questions.

All these conversations are opportunities to instill in our children the love of justice, commitment, the good use of freedom and mutual trust. You have to make him see that missing class is not a simple adventure that does not concern anyone, but causes a disappointment in parents and oneself, alluding to their self-esteem and the fact that a person as valuable as he should not be allowed these behaviors. And always leave the door open for you to talk to us, to give you new opportunities to restart, even if it is the umpteenth time you try.

Tips for acting when you are truant or missing a class

- It's not about watching them, but we can not give little importance to this issue either; we can always be attentive to the signs: a not presented or not evaluated in the notes, see some of his usual friends on the street during class hours, comments from acquaintances who saw him in the park, etc.
- If you've only done steers once or twice, sporadically, the situation must be tackled firmly. They are not important, but you have to appeal to their responsibility; It can also be a good time to hold a talk.
- Go to a psychologist if symptoms of aggression occur, chronic lies, explosive and unpredictable character, sleep disturbances, etc., because they can be warning signs of a possible physical or psychic disorder.
- Motivates personal success. If you feel frustrated at school, we can provide opportunities to achieve success in other fields (sports, hobbies, etc.) that help you improve.
- Shows interest in school affairs, not only when there are problems. It is necessary, sometimes, to know how to spend a few minutes when returning from work to talk with them.
- Maintain good relations with the school, be attentive to the observations of the teachers and participate in the educational activities they organize.Although it will not always be easy.
- If it's usual bullocks, we must consider the real reasons why they occur. In some case we should opt for an alternative to the study such as the FP modules, the technical schools or, simply, start working. In other cases, the solutions will be different, but we must always involve and excite our son in the personal project of his life.

Ana Aznar