The disobedience of children

The children disobey their parents, converting this behavior into a frequent and daily situation in their homes. Phrases like: "Now I go", "Yes, yes, in five minutes", "I had not heard you!" They tend to become the anthem of the house. The "no" response to everything always leads to the same thing: the task to be done and the annoying parents.


The stage included between 6 and 12 years age is the ideal to educate the virtue of obedience. An obedient child will know how to do the things that are asked of him without expecting anything in return and will develop in a peaceful and healthy environment. To avoid possible conflicts, it is important that parents know how to act in the proper way.


When the child disobeys at home

- He does not listen to you when you ask for something.

- You do not want to go to bed.

- He fights continuously with his brothers.

- Answer wrong.

- He does not start studying at the agreed time.

- He does not pick up his room.

- Discuss when you enforce something.

- Obedece grumbling and with a bad face.

- Look for all kinds of excuses to not obey.

- Complies but only if you give something in return.

When the child disobeys at school

- Does not follow the teacher's instructions.

- Challenge or argue with the teacher.

- Does not respect the rules of class or school.

- Carry out what we have forbidden him.


- Strictly do what is required by applying the "minimum effort law".

- Continuously delays the tasks you put on it.

- Refuses to interrupt a behavior when you ask.

- He says he's going to comply but then he does not.

Why does the child disobey?

- Self-affirmation. At the age of two or three years, children suffer from opposition crisis. They see themselves as a different person from adults with the capacity for independence. Therefore, to strengthen their personality they try to impose their laws and their orders. At this age the child "enjoys" testing his parents' authority.

- Draw attention. When the child feels unattended or loved, he may show disobedience to claim the attention of his parents, teachers or peers.

- Jealousy or envy. Before the arrival of a brother can react by negative behavior to become the center of attention.


- Insecurity and instability. The child can be rebellious and undisciplined if he is continually exposed to fights and arguments between his parents.

- Not feeling accepted. If you do not feel loved by your colleagues or professors you can manifest undisciplined behavior.

- Lack of stimuli. If the child is not stimulated with activities he will become bored and will spend his time bothering through negative behaviors.

Be obedient: one is born or is made

Many parents complain that their son is disobedient and they wonder what causes this behavior. Whether a child is obedient or not, It's not a matter of luck. The child will learn to be obedient in terms of the stimuli that the parents give him and how they react to his behavior.

When it is normal for the child to disobey

The lack of obedience is a frequent and normal problem in the early stages of childhood and disappears with age.

- Between 3 and 5 years old, the child begins to understand obedience. It is the ideal time to learn. You must teach the child intelligently and freely without performing the task for fear of punishment. They should be required to comply with the rules with reasoning.

- Between 9 and 10 years old, they are in the second phase of rebellion. That is to say, the critical spirit is born in them before their parents and teachers. The low pedestal and begin to analyze with critical eyes their failures and defects. From this moment, to get them to obey, we must get their respect.

Noelia de Santiago Monteserín

Advice:Teresa Artola, doctor in Psychology and Master in Family Education. Author of the bookEducational keys from 6 to 12 years, from Editorial Palabra.

Click here if you want to read a sample chapter of the book.

Video: GOCCNY - Children Of Disobedience


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