How to be a good father
How to be a good father is a challenge, a golden opportunity that is offered to us to exercise that big, red muscle that not only helps us move blood. Being a father means joining an exclusive circuit where the only fluid to move is love. Our parents have loved us and we are going to love our children. Any cut of circulation seriously harms those who run out of supply.
If being a father means that every day is father's day, the best way to celebrate the event is by providing our children with their daily ration of love and dedication. How to be a good father is a challenge every day. Being a father is a wonderful adventure and a tremendous responsibility that does not consist only in bringing bread home, but in being willing every day not to break that secret pact with our children on which their survival depends.
Often the question arises How much time do we have to dedicate to each child? Our children do not time the time we dedicate to them, but lacking a clock does not mean they stop examining us. It does not matter as much about time as the intensity and quality of that attention; they need to certify daily that for us they are the best thing that has happened to us and that we want them unconditionally.
You can not substitute that need for affection with a gift or with half attention, because they perfectly differentiate between decoy and reality. The love and attention in these ages are irreplaceable, because they are the real proteins with which the personality of our children is nourished.
Meet dad
"Knowing dad" allows children to identify their roots, understand themselves, interpret their values, identify their masculinity (males) and extol their femininity (girls). If there is trust, the father is not limited to telling his successes of the moment, also the disappointments, the blunders, the past or current bad times, in short, the good and bad that life has. It is a matter of humanizing the relationship, making it cordial and friendly, that is, being attractive as people for children. In addition, having fun together is an exceptional experience that is preserved throughout our lives, while preparing us to face -also together- moments of pain, which undoubtedly reach us all.
Being a good father is not being a father 10
The psychologist Mª Luz Mediano assures that "there are no 'Fathers 10', nor do we have to suffer for trying to be, we must fight to be a better person every day, accepting with sincere understanding, our own and others' weaknesses, we must know how to ask for forgiveness and forgive, but we can give 10 useful tips:
- To love (love) and take great care of the mother of his children, his wife.
- Have fun with her. Make some trip alone.
- Speak both of the things and the issues, positive and negative, that arise in the family.
- Talk about their work, and involve the children of professional illusions and projects. If it is convenient, also of the difficulties.
- Talk about his wife's work, if she works outside the home, her dreams, difficulties, projects.
- Talk with the children of their friends, their school, their teachers, their favorite games.
- Talk with your children about their studies, their thoughts about the professional future, their abilities and tastes. How to properly use money and economic means (gifts, purchases ...).
- Talk with the children of television, internet, movies, email, etc.
- Make rest plans, excursions, etc.
- In short, to be interested in the health of the body, mind and soul of his wife and children. "
Cristina Murcia
Advice: Andrés María Valdés Chápuli. Director of Valora Family Consulting. Family Consultant, CEU San Pablo University
