The risks of self-deception: do you know how to dialogue with yourself?

A person who is unable to see their virtues and talents, who others see and who are the cause of their appreciation, finds it very difficult to trust in themselves, feel secure and be optimistic in their projects and vital objectives. To avoid this negative distortion of personal reality, the psychiatrist Fernado Sarráis, author of the book The dialogue, explains that "it is convenient to frequently dialogue with oneself, without prejudice and without fear of seeing and accepting one's own reality".

Generally, "self-deception is usually the result of deceiving others beforehand." So, there are two antidotes to avoid lying: learn to suffer with good humor, to be brave and not fear suffering for the truth, and have a firm project. a good and true interior person, that will make many people love us and, as a consequence of that affection, we will be happy.Also, being good and authentic (sincere) self-esteem increases and it is easier to love ourselves and live with inner peace ", Explain Fernando Sarráis, author of the book The dialogue.


We lie when we are afraid of suffering and we try to avoid that suffering with a lie. On those occasions, we do not act according to reason and will, which always want good, and, therefore, truth and sincerity. It is necessary to train the will so that it controls the affectivity and does not allow that the fear impels us to lie to the others and to ourselves.

What has a head or heart priority?

There are two specific qualities of the human being: reason and freedom (which is a quality of the will). The psychiatrist Fernando Sarráis explains that "these two qualities are considered proper to the head, which is to direct the inner life and behavior of every person to get the best way to live as happily as possible in this life." The heart is considered synonymous of affectivity, which seeks to feel good or to stop feeling bad in the present moment, even if to do so it encourages action against reason ".


This way you can feel good in the short term, but you are unhappy in the medium and long term. So, what has priority, the head or the heart? The author of the book The dialogue He affirms that "in the human being the priority is the head." And, as the priority objective of the head is the happiness of the whole person, he must struggle every day to achieve a hierarchical harmony between the head (reason and will) and the heart. (affectivity), because conflicts and internal divisions produce anguish and weakness, and cause mental illnesses and make it difficult to achieve happiness. "

However, the path to achieve this challenge is not easy. "To achieve that goal successfully, you need good models in your environment and a continuous encouragement from educators, to reach that balance or harmony between your head and heart is to be psychologically mature," says Fernando Sarráis.


Positive psychology: avoid self-deception

Positive psychology aims to promote the acquisition and development of aspects and positive qualities of the human being, to help him be happy and make others happy. That is why it is giving an impulse to the study of creativity, autonomy, empathy, altruism, resilience, assertiveness, etc.

"This branch of psychology is helping to highlight the inner aspect of personality in family and school education, to get mature and happy people, thus counterbalancing the great interest that in today's society has the concern to achieve a body ideal ", concludes Sarráis

Marisol Nuevo Espín

To know more:
The dialogue
ofFernando Sarráis. Teconté Editions.
Read here thefirst chapter of The dialogue

Video: Honest liars -- the psychology of self-deception: Cortney Warren at TEDxUNLV


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