Summer holidays: tips to avoid friction with your partner
During the Summer Vacation we spend more time together and this union also generates some changes in the daily routines that can affect the quality of the couple's relationships. As a result frictions may arise that impair our emotional well-being, and of course, also our desired vacations.
In recent years, the number of divorces has increased considerably in Spain. The data speak for themselves, separations and divorces increased by 4.8% in the first three months of 2017, with respect to the same period of the previous year. Especially significant seems the high concentration of cases that are recorded at the return of summer vacation, 28% of divorce demands for the entire year are presented in court in the month of September.
There are several reasons that may be affecting these striking data: for example, spending more time with the couple, can give rise to those tensions that have accumulated during the year and that test communication skills or resolution of conflicts.
It is important to take care of the relationship and deal with the problems day by day. "Leave everything for the summer thinking that spending time together will relieve tensions, it will only increase our feeling of frustration and surely aggravate pre-existing conflicts," says Rocío Asperilla, a psychologist at Blua Sanitas.
Tips to avoid friction with your partner on vacation
Getting out of routine, changing schedules and lifestyle seems to be an obstacle for many couples who do not find in the summer holidays the rest they intended. In order to start a new holiday period, the psychology office of Blua Sanitas proposes some guidelines to avoid friction and make the most of free days:
1. Active listening and communication improvement: look for moments of dialogue to speak with sincerity and without blaming the other. The ideal is to say what you need and not wait for the proposals and solutions to emerge on their own. Leaving the weight on the other person so that he understands our hints is not recommended. If you want to do something, try asking for it directly. For example, if a member of the couple wants to eat with family or friends, he / she can suggest it and propose it using expressions such as "I would like *", "we could go ...", etc.
2. Plan: Having clear the obligations of each one and the activities that are going to be developed each day can prevent many discussions. We can use a list of tasks and responsibilities for each member of the couple to consider their chores, also the children if there were, how to take the dog, lower the garbage or fill the car deposit ... In addition, following a daily planning can help us to have a mental map of schedules and needs: this day we are going to snorkel, this one to the cinema, etc. Of course, the plans must be open and subject to modifications depending on the needs or interests of the couple or family.
3. Generosity: it is about finding a balance between the interests of all members and knowing how to give in on some occasions. It is so dangerous to never give in, as always to yield. This can help you work empathy, putting yourself in the place of the other to better understand their needs. It is also advisable to negotiate those aspects that are more sensitive, trying to arrive at a result where both parties go out winning.
4. Independence: even if you travel with children, we should try to find time for yourself, to practice our hobbies, to see our friends, to balance the time spent in the couple with the time we need for ourselves ... It is recommended that you have a moment of the day for you, either in summer or during the rest of the year, to be able to breathe, to ask how you are, what you need and to enjoy your present. Being with yourself is important, it is a way to take care of yourself and you do not have to feel guilty for needing it.
Advice:Rocío Asperilla, psychologist of Blua Sanitas