This is how the boys from 10 to 12 years old are
The equality of rights between men and women is not a fashion, but a conquest of modern times. Sometimes, ideas as simple as women have the same opportunities as men, the same rights, etc. They have been very forgotten.
It is evident that boys and girls are different and that they need to be educated according to their own characteristics and not in a "light" or "unisex" way. Without being sexist or feminist, you have to encourage boys in those characteristics of their own male condition, and in girls, those of women.
Boys can not be educated in the same way as girls: they are different. The normal thing is that each one is orienting itself ... But, sometimes the parents have to direct their sons and daughters because of the environment or of some familiar circumstances.
It is necessary to try to know, therefore, the most typical characteristics of a boy of these ages, to see then what educational details contribute to promote the most characteristic features of each sex. But this does not mean that they are the only features, or that girls do not participate at all of those of the boys.
From children to teenagers
The characteristics of a boy of these ages, around 10 years old, have a lot to do with his friends: he has a special instinct to form groups and gangs. The groups are usually numerous, so that it allows them to organize some type of sport such as football, basketball or other group games. In all of them, the strength is greater, the experimentation of their growing strength and muscles.
"You are a coward" or "you are a chicken" are usually the best arguments used by your friends to convince our son to do something. Is that they associate masculinity with courage and strength.
Also, to demonstrate their strength, some kids use tacos. They feel more thrown when they see the effect they have on others. Maybe at home he does not tell them, but if we saw him with his friends, he would surprise us with the things that he lets loose in that mouth. It will be necessary to explain to him, according to his mentality, the meaning of those tacos so that he sees that they are not simple words, but they contain strong insults.
At these ages, boys feel a disinterest in girls and voluntarily separate in their games. That the normal thing is this disinterest, does not mean that our son is rude to them. If our son pulls hair or insults, we will have to talk to him to not allow it, but do not despair: the gentility and respect for girls will come with time, with puberty, not now.
The importance of the father in the education of his children
Although the boys get along well with their mother, it is no longer as important as when they were younger. They no longer need it for everything and notice a growing desire for independence. It depends on the kids, but they are not too sweet with it anymore, or they tell you absolutely everything they do.
Hence the importance of the father: he must be the point of reference of the boy. In it he has to see a model of effort, strength, affection and kindness with others. The best example is the one he sees at home, and now he will focus more on dad, or older brothers. Father and son must be, if you can say so, more united and, even, from time to time do something special together: a trip or a trip, for example.
Boys among girls
Sometimes the situation arises that the boy has only sisters, or a brother of a very different age but many sisters. This does not have to be problematic, because it is normal for our son to have many friends of his age and sex and have fun with them.
It may also be that, in your neighborhood, there are not too many boys and yes girls ... It is not a problem either, but the most normal thing is that you play with boys. Therefore, parents must be more aware of him and try to get to know other friends, other cousins or point him to any association or youth club with due guarantees for their education where he finds them.
Strong guys, not beasts
One idea must be made clear: a manly boy does not mean a brute or animal boy. The characteristics of masculinity are not reduced to force, although they have to do with it, as we have seen.
We all know those gross guys who show themselves to be too aware that they are stronger and more daring than the rest of their friends. Sometimes they are somewhat problematic because they do not have a certain measure: they do not know where the limit is. It is, for example, the boy who is a brute or little sportsman playing football, or any other sport, or one who may come to tyrannize one of his friends.
That a boy behaves this way depends on many factors, among them the example that he receives at home (the violent films of the television is one of the examples that he receives at home, since it is where he watches television). Other times it is a reaction typical of the boy's age and personality.
Parents should teach their child that manhood is not manifested or demonstrated rudely, aggressively, with his bad temper or lack of control over his own genius. The fights are solved when the boy knows how to be respected without resorting to hands and blows.
Ignacio Iturbe
Adviser: Lucía Herrero. Psychologist
