School phobia, causes and solutions

When children make excuses not to go to school like "my head hurts," "I'm sick," "I do not want to go," or "when is the weekend coming?" ... I might just prefer to be at home, not having to get up early or play. Laziness can in that case. But it can also happen that there is another deeper cause that generates those feelings and behaviors.

In the first case you should not pay attention to that behavior, but you have to make the child see that it is his obligation and should go to school. With this, we will be teaching him to assume his responsibilities, overcoming laziness, to strive for what he must do and, in turn, we will not be risking our authority before a possible appetite or caprice on the part of the child.

But if these behaviors are repeated constantly, it is possible that we are facing a problem of school phobia. In this case, we must be careful with the way we respond to them and study the cause of why going to school is a drama. It will be important not to scold him or make him feel worse, even if we force him to go to school.

To avoid not giving them the right help, it is best to try to detect what is the cause and put the appropriate solutions as soon as possible.

How to solve the problem of school phobia

1. If the school phobia is of a social nature, it will depend on the age, the way in which it is given a solution, since in front of this type of difficulties it is the children themselves who must face them. It is not usually advisable for the adult to interfere because, on the one hand, he will not give him strength or strategies to learn to cope on future occasions and, in turn, colleagues will take it as another reason to object. Therefore, the help in this case must be done in a very indirect way, without them perceiving that neither parents nor teachers are taking part in the matter.

Depending on the cause that causes the problems of social relationship, the aid should focus in one way or another but, in general terms, the following tips can be taken into account:

- Address the problem from the classroom by the teacher: working on simulated situations, group dynamics, introducing in a transversal way slogans and values.
- Search within the group the child that most affinity have with your son to try to help him to lean on him.
- Propitiate different groups of social relationship: extracurricular classes, sports, groups of children of friends of parents, friends of the neighborhood ... We should not limit only to their class group because from there can arise very nice or lasting relationships, but in the end it is a group that has come dice. On the other hand, there are other relationships that arise from interests, affinities or tastes that they enjoy the most and, above all, help them to strengthen their self-esteem, have security, and support when they do not feel well or have difficulties with their class group.
- Enhance your self-esteem with positive reinforcement, making him see the people who love him, giving him many signs of affection and making him see that he has many more support than his classmates.

2. If the school phobia comes from learning difficulties:
- Detection of difficulties: The most important thing to be able to solve a learning difficulty is to analyze what is the cause and detect it as soon as possible. For this, it will be convenient to go to specialized professionals of the educational center or external and that the same faculty can advise us.
- Program of intervention: Once the problem is detected it is important to make a good intervention program, if necessary, that will be left to a professional. From home you should also follow some guidelines to go in the same line of work. Sometimes, a specific program is not necessary and reinforcement is sufficient. But it is convenient to assess whether as parents we are going to be able to offer the child this support or it is convenient to delegate it to other people so that the parent-child relationship does not deteriorate.

Extreme measures, such as changing the school child, should be carefully considered and left as a last resort, as long as we have total certainty that the problem is at school as such, and that it can not be solved.

Conchita Requero
Advisor: María Campo Martínez. Director of Educational Centers Kimba.