Ideas to educate children's modesty
The first samples or situations in which children can feel modesty they occur when we start to remove the diaper, start going to the bathroom alone and tThey have a need to close the door to feel more comfortable, that is, from 3 to 5 years. Many times, these types of attitudes surprise us, and we wonder how being so small they already have shame.
However, it is understandable and you have to understand that, despite being small, they begin to feel shame. From manifestations of this kind is when we have to be aware that, regardless of age, modesty exists and must be respected.
Little by little, the children will go claiming privacy and needing spaces for them alone. It is important to provide these spaces and help them feel comfortable with their own privacy, leaving aside the idea that because we are their parents and need us for many things we have to be present with them in almost everything.
The need for privacy of children
However, there are some children who do not have that need for privacy and it is important to tell them that each person has their moments of privacy. In these cases we must provide them with specific situations so they can learn to live that intimacy and be more modest. Generally, these types of children have no problem in undressing or showing their bodies to others. This can be considered a natural behavior, but that is not why we must let them carry it out how and where they want. Nor to restrict them in such a way that they see the fact of undressing as something unnatural.
To avoid taboos, it's good provide them with a climate of trust in which they feel comfortable with their own body and with themselves within the family, but not in other larger environments: school, street, etc.
Ideas that help educate modesty
These are some basic guidelines that we can transmit to our children when it comes to educating them in modesty:
- Have a certain modesty It shows that what is important is inside oneself, not so much outside.
- They have to reserve something that is theirs and very intimate for who they want. They have to choose well who they will show it to, once they are adults.
- The lack of modesty leads to depersonalization.
- They must take care of the way of dressing. We must teach them that we can not dress in any way. At the time of dressing we can hide or reserve our own privacy. Behind each style there is a way of being and a personality.
- Parents must offer a good emotional education and a good development of it.
The intimacy of the parents and the taboo subjects
At present, modesty is spoken of as a retrograde concept. This negative acceptance is given because there have been many taboos about sexuality and it is a subject that has been very limited. Without having to reach those extremes or without becoming so radical, it is important to educate children in this sense so that they know how to respect themselves and ask for that respect from others.
It is important that we are the first to tell them that we need an intimacy for hygiene aspects such as going to the bathroom, taking a shower or dressing up and that this intimacy must be respected. Children are so accustomed to being with us constantly that there comes a time when we ourselves lose our intimacy and that is what they learn. They do not understand that we need our own spaces, therefore, if we pretend educate in modesty, we must mark at what moment do we need our "territory", explain it to them and ask them for that respect.
On the other hand, to understand that they can also and should have their own modesty, it is important to let them enjoy themselves, their privacy and provide those spaces: a time to bathe alone, teach them to go to the bathroom alone, that they can dress and undressing without the presence of other members of the family ...
Advisor: María Campo Martínez. Director Centros Educativos Kimba